My new best friend

I have lived in Canada for just over nine years now. For those nine years I have had the good fortune to have a wahine that was fully prepared to do her bit and help me shovel that fucking snow out of the end of my driveway.

You all should know by now how much I hate winter in this bloody country. And you also will know that since I live at the bottom of a hill, on a right hand corner, I get far more than my fair share of that white shit that the city snow ploughs push out.

Some mornings I have come out to a pile of half thawed/half frozen slush 3 foot high and 6 foot deep. I call it Brokeback Mountain.

I loathe the snow plough. Well I did until last Friday when I got a new best friend (pictured). Since my wife started working full time this year she has been, mmmm, less than enthusiastic about helping out with the shovelling. You know, since I met Mr Yardworks, I really don’t give a shit. I love my snow blower, in fact if it had tits I’d marry it.

And so it starts

Here it is, the middle of November and up until the weekend there was no snow. In fact two weeks the daytime temperature reached 20°C.

Saturday night that white shit just started falling down. It didn’t stop for maybe 10 hours. We got 22cm of the bloody stuff.

So here we are, twice I have had to shovel now, that wet sloppy frozen lumpy crap the snow plow leaves in the end of my driveway is going to break my back.

My crazy wife claims it’s pretty. I think she is a whack job a little deluded. Fuck I hate this country.