Farewell to the King of the World!

Ha bloody ha! If you could see me now you would see what I look like when I am dancing and clicking my heels together. Why? Because that tosser coke dealer who moved into the house across the street got pinched by The Filth today. To quote the local police…

Occurrence Type: Drug Dealer Arrested

Occurrence #: BA0934586

Date: 20 August 2009

Details:

On the 20th of August 2009, the Barrie Police Drug Enforcement Unit arrested a 25 year old male at his residence on Owen Street.

The male, charged with: Trafficking Cocaine, Possession of Cocaine and Fail to Comply with Probation will appear in Barrie Provincial Court on August 21st for bail.

This investigation is part of a police/community effort to address local concerns in the downtown core. A number of uniform and investigative officers have been working diligently around the clock to address these community concerns.

Not just that guy, but the whole cockroach nest got cleaned out. The landlords parents turned up as well so I got to entertain myself by thanking them for bringing prostitutes, cocaine dealers, addicts and other low lives into our neighbourhood. Farewell fucker! You are King of the World!!

Man those people are starting to piss me off

Well those assholes up the street are still alive and well. Last week at 2am they decided to start having a bloody party! I went downstairs and called the pigs on them but as we all know, closing down noisy parties are a pretty low priority for Barrie’s finest. So two hours later they were still going strong. And typically the party started closing down at 4:30am about 15 minutes before the police cruisers turned up.

Bugger, I really wanted someone to end up cuffed and collared. The landlord had assured me that he was evicting them by the 15th, now it’s the 25th so it’s clear he’s full of shit.

The continuing tale of the Beagle Boys

Okay so there’s an update on the assholes who moved into my street. Apparently the landlord’s agent has had enough of getting phone calls from the other tenants and from neighbours like me and has given the “Likely Lads” 15 business days notice of an eviction.

Bloody good job, nothing worse than white trash.

Oh Great, It’s like Trainspotting Except Begby Lives Next To Me

Well that’s fucking great. The guy across the street has moved to India on a contract and has let his house out to the worst bunch of low life drug dealers you could imagine. It’s been a month and we have had (in chronological order) a neighbour threatened with a beating, a dead-fish overdose on the front lawn, a high speed chase followed by a police takedown and a 3AM attempted beating with an iron bar. Fucking nice.

Of course that sack sucker house owner doesn’t give a shit, he’s in fucking India, eating japatis and counting the cocaine tainted bills those criminals send him every month. Makes me want to throw a gallon of gas against their door. Fuck I hate living next to criminals.

Feel the fear and do it anyway

I do not claim to own this trademark and no confusion with the trademark holder or the trademark holder’s product should be held by the reader.

Fair use = “may be recognized in those instances where a reader of a given work is clearly able to understand that the use of the trademark does not suggest sponsorship or association with the trademark owner’s product or services and therefore is not being used in a manner to confuse the reader… A trademark owner by choosing a descriptive term as its trademark must live with the result that an author remains free to write about or use the trademark in its “primary” or descriptive sense. Legal doctrine defines fair use of a trademark as the “reasonable and good faith use of a descriptive term that is another’s trademark to describe rather than to identify the user’s goods, services or business (attrib).

Feel the fear and do it anyway…

Dear Sir or Madam,

should you contact me and request that I obtain your client’s permission to use her trademarked phrase, a phrase that is common place english by the way, then I would happily invite yourselves and your client to respectfully go and f**k yourselves.

Regards

Dude

My Samsung printer takes a shit

So about a year and a half ago I decided to get away from the bullshit that is inkjet printers and buy a cheap laser printer. Yeah I know. I bought a Samsung CLP-300 because of two major pluses. 1, I wouldn’t have to contribute to HP’s profit line anymore and 2, it was fucking cheap. Of course after I bought a full set of spare toners it wasn’t so cheap.

And of course now that the fucking thing has completely gone to the shitter and never come back it ain’t cheap at all. 700 pages, that’s all I ever printed from it, 700 bloody pages. And now realise that most of them were test pages trying to get it to not jam paper and you can see why I am a bit fucking pissy about this.

Lesson 1. Don’t buy printers based on sticker price. TCOS is the measure. Lesson 2. Google <printer name> and paper jam before you blow your cash. Lesson 3. Don’t buy Samsung, their printers are notorious for being giant bags of shit.

Did I say the words shit and fuck often enough in this post? Shit, fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck.                                               Shit.

Waking a Brother HL-4070CDW from sleep across a wireless connection

Well here is something that will totally waste your life until you work out how to do it. If you buy and install a Brother HL-4070CDW network printer and don’t have a domain running at home for name resolution then you will quickly discover that once the accursed thing goes to sleep then it will be impossible to wake it with a print job sent across the network.

Your only choices will be to turn off sleep (and pay the electricity bill that results) or go and hit a button on the printer to manually wake it. This kinda makes a farce of the whole wireless print thing.

Never fear. There is a fix and it is simple. You will need to edit your lmhosts file if you have a Windows XP or Vista, hosts file if you are on Mac OS 10. Put an entry in for the netbios name of the printer for the Windows machine or for the mdns name if you connected using bonjour on the Mac. What is happening is that your computer is sending a wake signal to the printer but it is using the netbios or the mdns name, not the i.p. address. If you have no local name resolution then you are shit out of luck.

Fuck I hate cancer

Great news from the home front this week. Six months after leukemia took my father I am told that my mother has been diagnosed with liver cancer. I have yet to be able to talk about my Dad here and now I must face the fact that I will soon be facing my mum’s end path. I am not going to do her the disservive of burying her in print while she still walks the earth but things are about as bad as they can get.

Complete Tossers Collection #3 Jim Cramer

Jim Cramer, you suck mate!

The endless, relentless vomitorium that is the American Cable News Network spawns some truly awful characters. Most of them are cartoon Americans, not to be confused with the real thing.

Jim Cramer is one of these Hanna Barbera yanks. He spends every day inside my television shouting, screaming, waving his hands and generally demonstrating the effect of shunning medication while in a fugue state.

His show purports to be some kind of stock advice event, the kind of thing that was so popular when the Dow was post 14,000. Now that it’s around 8,000, well he’s still there but he lost some of that new car smell he used to have.

I used to wave my hands at him and shout “the power of Christ compels you!” as I dived for the remote control and banished him from my life. I find it amusing that analysis of his so-called expert advice declares it as worthless as tossing a coin. Ha bloody ha. Now the painful part of his idiot savant act is the fact that he dumbed down share markets so much that he encouraged many people who had no business being in the share business. Net result? House wins again!

How to: Completely screw your MP3 collection

Step 1. Download the Picard client for the Mac

Step 2. Copy your entire MP3 collection onto a USB drive

Step 3. This is important. Don’t take notice of the fact that the drive is NTFS format.

Step 4. Scan the drive using Picard.

Step 5. Click “Save” and watch the entire 280GB of file structure disappear into the fucking ether, never to be seen again.

So boys and girls, here’s a handy tip from me, don’t use an NTFS drive on a Mac with Picard. Not unless you can’t think of a better way to get rid of your embarassing Yarni and Britney songs.