New Zealand, judged most peaceful nation in the world

Okay, in the great propaganda wars it appears New Zealand has a great PR team. It has been announced by some bloody Australian think tank that Godzone is the most peaceful nation in the world.

I would make some observations…

1. It was an Australian think tank. That’s like an Irish temperance society.

2. I am a New Zealander and I am definitely not peaceful. Therefore it may be entirely due to the fact that I emigrated that pushed New Zealand to number 1.

3. We are now ranked with little tosser nations such as Denmark on lists such as greenest, weakest, invadable-ist, oil-less-ist and likely-to-sleep-with-ungulate-ist.

Can I point out here that the 10 least peaceful countries are either Muslim, oil rich, or next door to same. Do yourself a favour, hire a tug and tow your country next to a oil poor, secular state. I hear Iceland has berths going cheap.

Run rabbit run!

Ha, bloody ha! Apparently a couple back in my home town of Rotorua, New Zealand applied for a bank overdraft of $10,000 and instead the bank mistakenly deposited $10,000,000 into their account.

Of course they returned it. Of course they did a fucking runner and are now wanted by Interpol as fugitives. Rich, rich fucking fugitives. My head asplodes. Click here to read more if you want.

The Shakey Isles

Growing up in New Zealand I got used to the constant series of earthquakes that rattled dishes throughout my childhood. I knew they happened all the time but I guess I basically just tuned them out. The other day I decided to see what the actual distribution and frequency of earthquakes in Godzone Country actually was. Yikes!

Rugby is porn, porn is rugby

Here’s a great little segue from New Zealand. Buddy thinks his eight year old’s innocence was ruined. I suggest that happened when his parents had loud sweaty “grown-up time” in the car when he was two.